No matter how hard you try…
You can’t always protect your little ones from germs and getting sick, if trying is all it took Kellar would not be feeling so bad right now…My lil bear is so pitiful, it makes me want to cry to see him feel so bad…Last night Joey and I put Kellar to bed and turned on his monitor so that we could hear him while we were still up piddling in the living room, I had noticed that he sounded awful stuffy and seemed to be fairly restless…Kellar sleeps all night, and normally when he’s asleep he’s asleep and there’s no moving or squirming around, but last night he was tossing and turning and I could hear that he was pretty congested..I fixed him a bottle this morning, and while he was eating I could tell it was difficult for him to breathe and eat at the same time..He fell asleep and I laid there and watched him breathing for a hour to see if he appeared to be struggling or if it looked labored, it didn’t look like he was having a hard time yet he didn’t sound like he looked…I called his pedi here in Texarkana and he was booked so we got in to see Dr. Wright…The place was working alive with sick kiddos, they were everywhere, and although Kellar was not feeling well I was so nervous that he was being exposed to something far worse that what I felt he had…After waiting for about 45 minutes we get back to see the dr, very nice man that was really shocked that Kellar was a 26 wkr I might add…He said that Kellar did have some congestion, a little of it sounded like it was in his lungs, and he was working to breathe somewhat but nothing that he felt we needed to be overly alarmed about at this point..Kellar was given a breathing treatment before we left the clinic they put a pulse ox on his finger to check his O2 saturation and it was between 92 and 95 so we were sent home with a script for cough and congestion…I just feel so bad for Kellar, although he clearly feels awful, he still manages to smile and be so loving…He just wants to lay around on Joey and I and be hugged and snuggled…We were supposed to go to Temple for his OT and PT evals but I will have to cancel that until he feels a little better…
2 Chompers…
Kellar officially has 2 teeth now, and guess what else Mr. Kellar has shown mommy and daddy…He now waves “BYE BYE”…It is the cutest thing..The other day Kellars Memaw T. came over and she and my memaw Marlene were here playing with Kellar, when it came time for her to leave I said wave bye bye Kellar, and he was intensely watching me move my fingers up and down while saying bye bye, he started copying me..So later that evening my papaw Norvel came over and he did it for him as he was leaving, I was so proud and couldn’t wait for my folks to get to see it…Saturday my mom and I were leaving to go to town and I was like Kellar wave bye bye to MawMaw and the little stink wouldn’t do it for anything, but mind you he did this same thing when it came to opening his eyes when he was in the NICU, she would try and try to get him to open his eyes, and the second she turned her back he would pop one open, he’s a little stinker and I think he likes teasing her…Joey and I had to run into town this evening and we took Kellar down to my folks house and he wouldn’t wave by to me, but I think he was just holding out on us…My mom and dad brought Kellar home and they played with him here for a little bit and when they were getting ready to walk out the door I said Kellar tell MawMaw and Papaw bye bye, and he did it, my dad was so tickled, of course anything that Kellar does has a tendency to tickle him though..
Looks like we’ll be adding another therapist…
Today was Kellars 9 month check-up, I know I can’t believe it myself, 9 months already..He weighed 16 lbs 10 oz and is 26 1/2 inches long, he is in the 75th percentile for weight and 95th for height…Kellar was evaluated by an OT today, of course 9 times out of 10 when it comes to someone evaluating him I end up nauseated or crying before it’s all over with..I at times don’t understand why, why do I let these petty things bother me, or would I be more abnormal if they didn’t phase me at all? I know that Kellar has severe brain bleeds, I know all the “possibilities that we were told about from day 2 of Kellars life, but just when I am beginning to feel “ok” with what I was told a few weeks prior, I get settled in and know that I CAN deal with whatever, another appt comes up and it jerks the rug out from under me again, so now here I have a couple of days to wind myself down, and then it will be time for him to be evaluated to see what type of therapy Temple thinks he will need, so once again I will go from I can do this to feeling down again…And don’t misunderstand me, or take any of this the wrong way, Joey and I can and will deal with whatever we are dealt and we will see to it that Kellar gets whatever services he may need..I know that God can heal Kellar from these tremors that he has, yes that was the main focus of todays appt…The OT pointed out that Kellar is “stiff” when he is moved from sitting to standing, he does have a tendency to stiffen and “tremor”, but he only does this for a few seconds, then he relaxes and his tone is normal, so she went on to explain that when he is moving or moved, it is the cerebellums job to see to it that it’s all smooth and coordinated, but since Kellars cerebellum was damaged his brains not fully receiving that info…It’s one thing to see and know that your child is doing this, but when someone else points it out, it hurts, it hurts not only for me but for Kellar as well…He’s such a happy baby, he doesn’t know that this is “abnormal”, he doesn’t realize that when he’s trying to do something and his head and hand is shaking so bad that it’s not supposed to do that, yet it does it and he still is the happiest baby on the earth, it doesn’t matter to him so why does it matter to me, why do I let these “negative” this is what we normally see with this situation “discussions” get me to doubting what I believe Kellar will do one day…I in my heart feel and believe Kellar will be fine, I have felt this since April 19th when I was being flown from Texarkana to Dallas with what I thought was ruptured membranes, I had this at ease feeling that everything was going to be alright, and to some I’m sure when they hear of my situation they would disagree and question what was “alright” about the situation, maybe it wasn’t “ideal”, yes I would have loved to have made it farther in my pregnancy, but I didn’t and yet I felt a sense of peace, I knew in my heart that we would bring our son home although some dr’s thought different…And now to this day, I pray that Kellar will continue to prove everyone wrong, just looking at him and watching him I can’t imagine Kellar not doing anything that he puts his mind to…Please join me in praying that these tremors will be gone…
New pics…
Alright, well so much for “new pics sometime this weekend”. Better late than never i guess. Anyway, the pics are up, and this will be the first official use of the new mailing list.
Mailing List
We have added a mailing list feature to the site. There is now a link in the lower right hand side of the page for subscribing. All you have to do is enter your email address, and you will receive a confirmation email with a link that you will have to visit before you will get the updates. Basically every time we update the site, it will send you an email letting you know.
By the way…I hope to have new pictures up this weekend sometime.