HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMERON…
It’s been one year ago today that you came into our lives and then quickly went away…Mommy and daddy know that you are in a much better place and we think of you daily…I know that you never left Kellar’s side the whole time he was in the hospital and every time I see him smile, I know he sees you there beside him…At times when I look at Kellar I see you in him so much, he looks just like you did…You are a wonderful “big brother” and I can’t wait for the day I can tell Kellar about you…We love you and miss you Angel….
4 months later….
and Kellar weighs 9 lbs now…I look at Kellar and it’s just so hard for me to think back to him only weighing 1 lb 12 oz at birth, he’s now 9 lbs and still growing..I was really not sure if his weight gain for the last week would be all that great since he has been spitting and refluxing so badly…The NP decided to put Kellar back on the EES to speed up his motility and has increased his prilosec to twice a day to see if we can’t get this reflux under control…The last few days his reflux has gotten to the point that he screams out loud and he’s spitting with every burp and then hours later he’s still spitting…So here’s hoping that this will do the trick…We have another appt in 10 days in Dallas…
Kellar went to church…
Joey and I took Kellar to church today…He was really good during service, when we first walked in the band was playing and they were singing, his eyes were so huge, all I could do was laugh..People after service would come by and ask, is this the baby we have been praying for? We kept the carrier on the floor since we figured people would not be as apt to bend down and touch him, and it worked…He looked so cute, I dressed him in this little blue jean Ralph Lauren romper, I had went to town last night to try and find me an outfit to wear to church, and walked out of the first store with the romper and a pair of TH blue jean shorts, like the kid really needs more clothes, but I can’t help it…Today after church my mom and I went to Cameron’s grave and put out a fall flower arrangement…There are times when I look at Kellar and he looks so much like Cameron…This Wed would have been Cameron’s 1st birthday….
Our first outing….
I decided to be brave, really brave….My mom and I took Kellar to town, we went to Target to return a monitor that we had duplicates of, and then to Wal-Mart to pick up a few groceries…I was nervous, and found myself watching anyone within arms reach of me and kept Kellars stroller covered….My baby was more top secret than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes baby today…He did really well, only fussed when he was hungry or wanted his hiney changed…The few times I did take him out of the stroller to feed him, I would hear someone say how tiny he is, I guess I don’t see him as tiny anymore, if they only could have seen him 4 months ago what would they have thought…Kellar is doing well, it’s just hard at times to figure out what makes him happy, sometimes it’s being held, sometimes it’s holding him with his binky in his mouth, other times it’s standing and holding him, others it’s standing and holding him with his binky in his mouth, other times it’s, well you get the picture don’t you??? We make the trip back to Dallas next Tue, I don’t have quite the list of questions I had last week, but I am going to mention that Kellar is spitting up with every burp now, and I think his reflux is really bothering him now…
Tiny Tots and Eye exam..
Kellar had his first Tiny Tots visit today…The visit went well, the dr said that Kellar looks good, he gained weight ( which of course I was worried about…see told you I’m a worry wart..) He now weighs 8 lbs 6 oz…When they asked if I had any concerns since his discharge, I went through my list…the feeding concerns, his poopy diapers are not every diaper change now, etc…The dr was really nice, and said that Kellar is gaining weight, which is good, and that he thinks the feedings will even out before long and basically to feed Kellar when he wants to eat, if he wants to sleep let him sleep, if he wants to eat, feed him…We left there and headed to his eye exam…Kellars eyes look good, the ROP did not get worse, so we won’t need to be seen again till next year…Praise God for that news…We do have to go back to Tiny Tots next week, and then to see the surgeon that did Kellars bowel surgery…I know this trip is very tiring on Kellar, poor fella slept the whole way there and back, and then even slept through the night, and I finally woke him up to feed him around 3am or so, then this morning I had to wake him to feed him again…I of course was a little worried about him wanting to sleep so much and as you have probably guessed by now…I called Tiny Tots….I know I know…I have got to quit worrying so much…I guess since being in the NICU, and having that comfort of someone there watching him all day long, and knowing that they look for “certain” things, I became familiar with some of those things and now when I notice them I hit panic mode…I was pretty sure the sleepiness was just from being so tired from the half a day in the car, but needed to have another opinion…I also am starting to think that Kellar has colic, he gets really upset about the same time every evening, and tonight he was madder than a hornet….He started it all off by throwing up everywhere ( yes I panicked…) and then spit up some more…I went to change him, and he was so mad and hot I thought he had fever…I finally managed to calm him, and now he’s sleeping, well he was sleeping but now my lil bear is waking up…Please pray that Kellar will continue to tolerate his feedings…