I was a horrible blogger with just Kellar, now that Londyn has arrived I can almost bet that my blogging may be cut down to 2 times a year, nah hopefully I’ll get better and start back up. Londyn is 6 wks old and I’m learning things that I didn’t get to learn with Kellar. Kellar came home from the hospital and was pretty much good to go, formula was decided on, reflux meds were prescribed and his sleep schedule was perfect. Londyn however is a spitter and we are on our 3rd type of formula to hopefully get her spitting/reflux under control. I say she has reflux but her upper GI was good but when she burps I hear it come up and she makes a horrible face and will start coughing or hiccuping so I feel that she is refluxing. Kellar is still my amazing little boy, my amazing little boy that has developed a dislike for school. I’m hoping that once I go back to work and we are back to our normal “routine” that he’ll settle back in and not cry when we walk in the door of his class. It’s hard to leave him when he’s upset, part of me wants to let him stay home but I know if I give in then he’ll think all he has to do is cry and he’ll get his way so thankfully his teacher is very understanding and is able to calm him down once we leave. Kellar has adjusted fairly well to having a new baby in the house, he loves her and is very protective. I was worried about him feeling left out and being able to juggle taking care of her and being there for him, I won’t lie it’s hard at times but hopefully I’ll have it all figured out before long. I try and really explain to him that she’s a baby and that when he was a baby we did the same thing for him, he’ll normally ask lots of questions about him being a baby and then he’s pretty much ok with us having to hold her or pick her up when she’s upset. Londyn is growing so much, she’s lost that baby look and has started to fill out and has even started to smile some and with that comes those cute coos that babies make. I’m not looking forward to going back to work, I was able to stay home with Kellar for 3 1/2 yrs but won’t be able to do that with Londyn, makes me sad! We had a wonderful Christmas with family, Kellar as usual got way to much but they’re only little once and he was super excited. We had our first snow here a week or so ago, Kellar would stay out in it all day if I weren’t the paranoid mother that I am. Well that’s a short summary of what’s been going on around here….
Londyn Paige made her arrival 12/03/10 at 38 wks 1 day. To say that I am tickled to have went to term is a understatement, I still can’t believe it! Londyn weighed 9 lbs and was 22 1/4 inches long, funny thing is that looking at her now she doesn’t look like this big baby but I know 9 lbs is considered a big baby. I had to have a c-section with her since I had the TAC. I’m sorry but having a c-section is no breeze, it made me feel horrible. I threw up I can’t even remember how many times during the procedure so for all of you ladies that have had one and hear how lucky you are b/c you didn’t have to push that kid out I now can say I know different and easy it’s not. Joey came in for the first part of it but bless his heart he had to go out and missed my dr pulling her out by probably a matter of seconds. When I heard her cry, a very loud and strong cry I knew that I had done it, she was here and sounded healthy. Joey was able to go into the nursery room with her while they weighed her and I assume did a newborn assesement on her while our family and friends stood outside the nursery viewing window. I wish I could have seen Kellars face when they brought her to the window to show him, I wish I could have seen what Joey looked like walking up to show off our daughter, our full term daughter! Once I was stitched up they moved me to my room for recovery and Joey and the baby were able to join me. The feeling of not having to get on a elevator and go sign in to a nicu to look at your little one for the first time through a isolette can not be described. I was able to hold her, I could kiss her, I could stroke her face and look at how perfect she was while she was in my arms, it was awesome. I never posted about this but we were given bad news about my blood screening, it showed that Londyn was at increased risk for having down syndrome. I can’t lie and say that the last 18 wks of my pregnancy were not a mix of emotions. Joey and I opted against a amnio b/c it wouldn’t have changed our choice of continuing with the pregnancy by any means, but the thought of it lingering in the back of my head made me nervous about delivery day. I in my heart felt she was fine, I know that I prayed constantly for the blood work to be wrong and I had others that I know had prayed that as well. When I seen her I instantly knew it was going to be okay, I loved her from the moment I knew I was pregnant but holding her I knew no matter what she was our baby and she was perfect, just like Kellar. We were told so much negative info about Kellar and the effects of his prematurity but he was our baby and we loved him regardless of what the drs felt his future would be like, look how wrong they were on that he’s doing everything they said he’d never do. Londyn thank you Jesus does not have ds. She is such a pretty baby and our family of 4 is complete. Kellar has been a wonderful big brother so far, he loves her and is very protective of her. I think Joey and I have forgotten what it’s like to have a baby but then again this whole experience has been so different for the both of us but so far it’s been great. This Christmas I have the best gifts anyone could ever ask for, a wonderful husband and 2 precious kids that God has blessed me with.
Wow. It’s hard to believe that on Friday our family of 3 will be 4. Kellar is excited and talks about his baby Londyn daily, he will ask me several times a day if Londyn is done growing in my tummy and can come out now. I can’t believe I have carried her to 38 wks, the constant aches and pains are a daily reminder of how big she is but I am beyond thankful for this experience, it’s not something I plan on doing again though. I still think of how things would have been if I had pushed for this stitch with Kellar but again I am beyond thankful for my precious lil miracle that he’s turned out to be. I have been a bundle of emotions the last week, I think it’s hit me finally that Kellar will not be the only child in our house and goodness knows he’s been #1 for 4 years. It’s like I have this guilty feeling about him having to share our attention now. We were out buying things that we need in order for Londyn to come home and I teared up several times while shopping for her in front of him, he’d ask what I was doing and it’s like I would choke up saying that I was trying to find Londyn a sleeper, or trying to decide what binkys to get her because it’s always been me looking for something for him, he wasn’t the least bit bothered by it and was happily picking out stuff for his baby sister but I on the other hand found myself thinking I had to get him something too. I’ve laid in the bed at night and wondered how this is going to affect him, will he still be ok with it after she gets here, will he be upset with us for having another baby, is he going to ignore me b/c I’m going to be taking care of Londyn? Or will he be the best big brother around and look forward to the day she’s chasing him around the house getting into all his toys? I know I’m extremely emotional and my feelings are going in 986 different directions. So Friday is the big day…thoughts and prayers appreciated…
and baby Londyn will make her arrival. Kellar is still excited and talking about his sister and constantly picking out stuff to buy her, it’s sweet and hopefully that trend will continue once she gets here. I at times can’t believe I have made it this far in my pregnancy, after a loss at 20 wks and Kellar coming at 26 ( failed tvc ) I’m so happy to be 35 wks and so near term. I think back on my pregnancy with Kellar and wish I had pushed for a abdominal cerclage. I didn’t know it wasn’t going to hold up and I thought I was doing the right thing but thinking about what all Kellar went through it does make me a little sad butI wouldn’t change anything about Kellar today, I think he’s perfect and I feel so blessed at how well he’s doing.
Kellar is still loving school and learning so much, he won’t tell you what he’s learning you have to “catch” him playing and just sit back and listen. He has learned where his cranium is, his mandible, patella, phalanges, ribs, heart and I’m sure there’s others that I’m leaving out. He’s couting pretty well, recognizes his ABC’s and is learning the states and presidents but his attention span needs some work. I know he knows more than what he puts on but getting him to show his teacher what all he knows is something he’s not doing and I’m not sure what to do about it, if you put him on the spot and ask him something he’ll clam up and not say a word, hope he gets over that or we’ll be in trouble when he starts kindergarten.